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The Ballad Of AkaDakota

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_Super_Hans_

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Dec 18, 2016
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In the grand land of survival, a land in great need of revival, a girl was in her house.
She was working busily, building her home, the mobs outside began to roam.
Footsteps were heard, the girl became curious at the approaching steps that sounded so furious.

There stood two men, towering above like gods, the girl pondered if they were the mods.
The men looked upon her, then yelled up at yonder, since what they found was rather odd.

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The men found a thot! A mischievous minx! It was apparent from her dog filter face-kinks!
"Look here, a thot is what we have found!"
"We must bury this heathen into the ground!"
The men exclaimed, chatting between one another, whilst the girl was left to wonder, 'Am I going to be melted like butter?'

One man whispered to the other,
"She may have the dog-filter applied, but surely we may put her to use outside?"
The two men nodded and turned to the girl.

"Rejoice young thot, thou hath been saved! The gods shall not be dismayed!"
The men spoke of gods to the degenerate girl, speaking of trials that would cause her to hurl.

"First go out, and collect the melons! Break them apart with your hands you thot felon!"
And so out she went to do the gods bidding, but of course, the gods were kidding.

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Nevertheless, the girl began to harvest, breaking the melons with her small hands.
After she had finished and wiped the sweat from her brow, she began to stand proud, however then came a voice which said "Pick up the Melons...and lay them again."
The girl was confused, had her task not ended? She thought she did splendid!

As she stood around fairly puzzled, Lord Clazzo would not have her be muddled.
He whipped out a stick, hard and thick, and began to beat down on the dog-filter chick.

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"Did you not hear us!?"
Exclaimed the men.
"Pick the melons up and place them down again!"
The thot had been beaten within an inch of her life, and she placed the melons down neatly, free of strife.
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The melons had been placed and it seemed like all tasks were completed, but the gods were still rather heated.
"The gods demand sacrifice, for being a thot you shall pay the price!"
The two men marched into her abode, readying their bows to unload.
"These dogs of yours are part of your thot-army! We're going to make them into delicious peperami!"

The girl began to wail and cry as her dogs began to die.
The girl cried out,
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to which the men replied "Amen".

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Her dogs were struck down, one after the other.
Sir Clazzo's axe gleamed with glee as it deleted another.
The dogs were chopped and chopped, the spree of the axe could not be stopped.
As the gods demanded more, the floor was steadily covered in gore.
It was finished, the massacre done, the gods fully satisfied with such bloody fun.

Cowering in her house, covered in canine guts, the dog-filter thot began to cry.
As she looked up, she met a most horrendous site, she saw her favorite dog Alex's eyes.
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Sir Clazzo wore the head of her pet proudly, the girl burst into tears as the men began to laugh loudly.

Of course, for her efforts the girl was rewarded, the gods had been pleased with the wolves being slaughtered.
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Happy with the reward of many diamond blocks, and a hefty 20k paycheck, the girl thanked the men sincerely.
She continued with her day merrily.

And so ends the ballad of AkaDakota, a dog lover, a thot, a snapchat-filter wearing harlot.
Or so you thought...
For you see, here comes out friend!
His name is theantipenguin, here to tie up a loose end!

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Yes! That's right! A secret basement with two doggy-devils!
theantipenguin harvested their souls for levels!
He whacked and smacked and smashed with the stick!
So much that the room began to look like a red oil slick!
And after he was finished beating their brains out, he received sizeable clout.

So ends the tale of AkaDakota and her army of wolfish fiends, sacrificed as an end to the means.
I hope you enjoyed this ballad, now if you'll excuse me I could go for some salad.
 
This is the reason I approve of Empire management, for no VP citizen has such Iambic Pentameter, a beautiful story, such gracious finesse, tears of joy shall run down, for I have been blessed
 
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